Life is islands of ecstasy in an ocean of ennui, and after the age of thirty land is seldom seen.

The Dice Man, Luke Rhinehart

That one hit hard on the week of my 29th birthday.

In a world with infinite possibilities most of us are unhappy, and bored with our lives.

17% of the adult population is on antidepressants, it’s arguable how many of these are unavoidable, chemical imbalances in the brain that can’t be solved any other way. But an interesting question to me is how many people are taking them because the world is slowly spiralling out of control into an unmanageable mess.

Do you get that thing where you’re falling asleep and thoughts of work are drifting through your mind, you wake up and first thing you think is of that task that’s due today? How about waking up in the middle of the night to thoughts of work?

What sort of damage could this stress be doing to our bodies? If it’s affecting our sleep when our bodies are supposed to be repairing; physically, and mentally then that could be causing some real damage. We know that stress damages us at a cellular/DNA level (I don’t know what this means really but it sounds bad doesn’t it).

Then we medicate our lack of good sleep with too much caffeine, then medicate our overuse of caffeine with some alcohol in the evening.

I also think about the things we do every day that affect us negatively.

I like the idea of dopamine fasting, the internet will probably tell you that’s some privileged people shit, think about people in the world who are literally dying of starvation, think about the refugees. But sometimes we have to try cleaning our room before trying to fix the world, so those criticising are part of the problem.

What about a year long, or longer dopamine fast? How about giving up your smart phone for a year. Would these changes make a measurable, positive impact on our lives?

I’m starting to feel the effects of the capitalist grind, this is being amplified by lockdown of course; but I’m tired and just so bored. Would it be possible to take a year or more out of my life and perform a ‘hard reset‘? I’ve been working since I was 15 (14 whole years), and it’s looking like I might have another 40+ years in the workforce – I’m not sure I can take it without a reset.